• Brother Wolf

“Grace and Mercy compared to Toilet Paper, crazy I know!”

Updated: May 14, 2021

Hello all,

I trust that the title has grasped you and made you decide to read a little more. If you like the title, then you’ll love how I came about choosing it. I was sitting in the area of the house, that we as men sometimes have our encounters with God. Normally, it is in the shower, shaving, or washing our hands but this time I was in the middle of #2 when I looked over and noticed that the roll of toilet paper was nearly at an end. Panic struck me, and immediately I thought out the motion in my mind of what to do if I ran out.

I could call my wife, who I noticed from the sound on the other side of the door, had just come into the kitchen and was getting her cup of coffee. I could stop in mid, you know what, and look under the counter (in arms reach I must add), or I could rely on the very small amount on the roll and deal with the consequences after I was done. “I should have looked before I started,” I thought to myself. “I know better than to just go. Who left this little amount anyway? Why do people do that? It’s not that hard to fill the roll when you are done or even ahead of time.”

Why God, Why???

Then He does what He loves to do to me (being God and all). He shows me a vision of me in front of an audience while on stage, passing out toilet paper, as I speak to the crowd about Jesus. Yup, you caught it. Toilet paper for the masses. People were jumping to grab theirs and then leaving before I finished speaking. Others felt as if it was beneath them to grab it in public and waited for me after I was finished speaking. Some had plenty at home and didn’t feel the need to grab anymore. Then, there were those who wouldn’t leave but grabbed all they could, passed out some to others and still came back for more only leaving with one for themselves.

What the heck was this all about, I asked? And He says, “this is how Mercy and Grace are received today. Why miracles are often not seen in the States and how other countries in destitute situations are having breakout moments of miracles that they cherish and pass along to others.


You are probably saying this isn’t true, huh.

So follow me and allow me to explain.

I had an opportunity to travel and visit Tbilisi, Georgia (just think Russia), and one of the first things that we were told before we left the States was to make sure we bring our own toilet paper. “Go figure! Everyone has TP,” we thought but followed instruction anyway. So we carried plenty and we flattened them, per instruction, so we could carry more. We removed the cardboard center because, well, who needs that part anyway. When we got there we left everything in the rooms of our guests because we were on a mission. Singing and preaching the gospel, Amen? Amen…

Everything was great, the people were great and they loved the Lord. No pulling to worship and excited to be around believers from another country. This is what I felt and loved. I was having the time of my life until, well until I had to go to the bathroom. When I asked where that was. I was directed, Nah, walked to the outside and shown an enclosed area that had a mat with footprints on it. A hole in the ground and what I perceived to be toilet paper which was a brown roll of two or three-inch paper on a wire hanger tied to the wall for everyone to use.

I will not go into details but the rest of what happened but I will say this…it wasn’t pretty when I got back to the wonderful home I stayed as a guest and dug through my luggage for the white fluffy TP.

What does this have to do with anything you may ask? Well, the Lord showed crazy miracles on that trip. It was through His Grace that yours truly had the opportunity to explain the Gospel in layman’s terms and answer simple questions to those who really wanted to hear who Jesus is, not was.

This action of Grace brought one of the young street gangs, that had just put several missionaries in the hospital after beating them up and robbing them, to the Lord. Mercy kept me alive and gave them the chance to hear, receive, repent and then on bended knee, pray the sinner’s prayer in front of the very police that was looking for them. With only me and 14 or so young men of the gang in tears.

Grace was sufficient and Mercy prevailed.

Yet in the States. Most feel as if they don’t need to jump at the opportunity to hear, let alone respond to the Gospel in public. I hear things like, “It doesn’t take all that jumping around or getting excited”, “that’s for you not me”, “God knows my heart” and my favorite, “ I’m excited on the inside and jumping for joy.” This really must be funny for God, and I am not trying to come across as judgmental, I’m just saying what the Judge-meant.

Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me, Bless the LORD.

Anyway. In our country, the US, we don’t worry about things that we have an abundance of and can simply go to the store when we run out. So it holds little value. Until there is a threat of running out or a danger that is unforeseen…like a pandemic or a storm or whatever!!!. Then you can’t keep the stuff on the shelf in the stores and they have to restrict the amount taken so that others can get a chance…so someone comes along and says, “it doesn’t take all that.”

Some people won’t go that far to fight over it in the store but will buy it online or send someone to the store so they are not seen. Others have enough so they just laugh at the pandemic action and because they saw it coming and have no need for more. I mean you hear things like “it’s e’nuff for me and mine so who cares about it being on sale”. Then there are the individuals who will buy it and give it away to others who walked by or take it to the homes of those who didn’t really know what was coming. And so on and so on. Here’s something else that I also see. In the States or in areas of abundance, we spin the toilet paper (don’t laugh… you know you do it) we don’t count, we don’t pay attention to the importance of the product. Yet in areas where there is a rarity in finding good toilet paper they definitely don’t spin the toilet paper roll, they count each section because it is precious. Grace and Mercy: is it precious or is it common to you? Are you hoarding it or are you extending it to others?

Let me go back to Tbilisi. I recall before going home I took the remaining toilet paper and presented it to the family I stayed with. Their eyes welled with tears and they received it as if I had handed them a priceless item (I also left M&M’s). Even though it was smushed, it had no cardboard center to hold its form, and some of it was raggedy and frayed, it was received with love as it was given. Our Father, who is in Heaven often gives us Grace and Mercy and we regard it as if it is just a common thing to be used and re-purchased at our earliest convenience, at the next available church service. We scoff at the notion that miracles of healing can happen, like limbs growing back or spines being straightened or that demons can be cast out by just the name of Jesus (no ceremony or Holy water, pardon the joke). Yet, in places where Grace is seen as precious and priceless, limbs growing back are common. Places where the name of Jesus or the profession of one’s love of the Gospel is grounds for execution, Mercy abounds and souls are saved and the Gospel spreads underground like wildfire.

So maybe. Just maybe.

Having that brown, recycled, 2 or 3-inch rough piece of toilet paper that hung on a wire hanger wasn’t such a bad thing because it taught me the importance of the Grace and Mercy I have so readily in this country, and in my life. I shall never take it for granted or act as if I don’t need it. Nor will I refuse the overwhelming need to express my joy at His touch or His Word or His Son or His Holy Ghost presence. I hope you feel the same. When an individual is addicted to a substance or to a process (process addiction). Substance use becomes the norm, and even the abuse is normal. The normal portion is un-normal to others, like those who haven’t had to go through the pain or have the realization that, “I am not me today”, really has weight to its meaning.

The pain and the demons that are faced in addiction are normal. I am sure you’ve heard the phrase, “don’t hate the player, hate the game”. If you haven’t. I will elaborate for you. The game is meant to be played or not played and it is not life. It is outside the scope of what God intended life to be for you or me however, it does exist. The rules are constant and the demons are familiar. So much so that most people will return to the demons they know (the game) instead of following the angels that they don’t know (sobriety).

Unless, Grace extends beyond our past experiences and becomes the very present, precious anointing that breaks the yokes and chains of addiction, we as an organization will hold to using methods that are tried and true in the diagnosis and assessing of those suffering from the lack of freedom to walk away from the game in all its forms. These techniques will be administered by those who are Christ-Center and know the value of Grace and Mercy. We choose the Highest Power there is today, yesterday, and forever. Jesus the Christ

I look forward to meeting and speaking to you all in the years to come.

Peace and Love,

Brother Wolf

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